Check Them At The Door

Last weekend, I took a short weekend trip to the Florida Keys (Islamorada). While there, I caught some jabs and some compliments about the blog. While there, I was requested to write about the Keys, so it is my honor to oblige.

Vacations, no matter how simple or extravagant are a great tool to get away from the stresses of life at home. Whether to get away from work, get away from family, or to just experience something different, these trips allow people to let go and enjoy the time when they're away. Some people choose to let loose a little more than others and some locations bring this out of people more than others.

While I've been to many different locals across the US, there are some that I visit at least once a year. One place that falls into this group is Tallahassee, FL. Granted, this is not one of my favorite places, as it hosts FSU; but, it has also been home to a good variety of friends and some great times. I have noticed, while in Tally, there is never a night where I am calm and just hang out at the house. This could be due to the fact that I am usually there for a big rivalry game (UF-FSU or UM-FSU). The mood is always a little more amped up and leads to crazier partying. I have yet to be in Tallahassee to just relax and hang out.

Another location that seems to bring this out of me is the Florida Keys. The Florida Keys are a calm getaway for many Florida citizens, especially older folks with boats and beach houses. The attitude of many visitors is relaxed and they are there to enjoy the weather and the activities that come with being surrounded with water.

Being younger, this serenity doesn't necessarily apply to myself or my friends. Granted, I appreciate every time that I get to enjoy The Keys and Rob's house. I make sure to at least spend 1 hour on the deck or dock and look out over the water and take in view. I think of what it would take to not work and just hang out like that forever...but then reality hits. Every time I have been to the Keys (4th of July, New Years, Spring Break, Random Weekend) something or someone is out of control.

I think of many great stories, just not great decisions that have been made. For the longest time, I thought it had to do with the group that I was with and how we were. However, after the last couple trips, I believe that it's just something in the air. Every time I have attended this group of islands, a unique story has occurred, mostly involving one or even none of our group. It's as if when you get onto US 1, they make you check your morals and standards at the door. Everyone seems to be looking for the worst decisions that they can possibly make. Everyone seems to work on the Binary System and the feeling of embarrassment does not exist. People treat the Keys as if when they return to the mainland, what they did will not be remembered by anyone. The Keys even bring this mentality out of people whom I even thought to be very conservative, as I learned this past weekend. Even on evenings that are spent grilling at the house, some sort of partying is bound to occur.

I cannot fully describe what occurs in the Keys as if I were to it would be an entire book (Wow, good idea). However, many of these bad decisions are located in 2 areas. During the day, shenanigan's take place at the Sand Bar and later on at night, at Hog's Heaven (or The Hog).

At the Sand Bar, boats anchor up and the passengers proceed to get in the water, beer in hand, and walk around (sometimes creep). Guys check out every girl and vice versa. Some groups are more family oriented (not a great idea) and the some are more out of control. Everyone is usually friendly to one another, probably because they are all in the same mindset as everyone has checked all good decisions at the Keys entrance. Funnels, Beer Pong, and Shotguns are commonplace. Occasionally, you meet a group that gives you tequila shots within 3 minutes of knowing you. Other times call for wrestling 2 girls in a Hamster Ball on the water. No matter the day or the event, there is always something crazy going on.

The Hog is the night time bar for anyone and everyone located around Islamorada. Some times the crowds are large, others the place is scarcely packed. However, within hours, sometimes minutes, one's mind is boggled by the actions of another patron. This is most likely due to the overwhelming amount of shots taken. Inside the Hog, you may see girls dance (I use the term dance quite loosely) on the bar. Or, you could see your friends get lap dances by a grease-burned cook who just got off her shift. You could run into people you've met on the Sand Bar, which turns into a whole new adventure. Since there's not always the best choices in The Hog, you pretty much just settle, and it's no biggie since your plenty of drinks deep. The Hog says it closes at 4am, but might stay open if there are enough people there. Close is interesting as patrons squeeze into cabs, some without knowing each other or having money to pay. If the cab isn't your way home, you could get a ride home on a Child's Seat, or as I have recently experienced, walk the 2.5 miles back to the house.

While the stories may not always end up the way you would like, they're bound to bring a smile to your face when you remember them, or are reminded of them. Sometimes the pieces must be put together by the group, like a Jigsaw team. You may not always be proud of what you've done, but at least it's a good story. And while you may have a time of guilt, you can then point out what another member of the group has done in the past and all is kosher.

The Keys is a magical and mysterious place. The views and weather are beautiful, and under the shining sun the choices made are not always the prettiest. While the actions of people in the Keys may be frowned upon on the mainland, they are welcomed there. But, they are left there whenever one picks back up their morals and standards and heads back north, with whatever dignity they have left.

God Bless The Conch Republic!