Raising The Bar Scene

Lately, I've been writing about more serious topics just trying to blow off steam from things that have occurred recently in my life. This week, I've decided to write about something that occurs in my life nearly every week, and something that many of my friends can relate very easily to - going to the bar.

I've been to three distinct genres of bars throughout my travels; the ones in large cities (Miami, Ft. Lauderdale, Orlando, Tampa, Jacksonville, New York, Boston, Atlanta, New Orleans, etc.), the one in college towns (Gainesville, Tallahassee, Athens, Baton Rouge, Knoxville, etc.), and the local town bars (Cooper City, The Keys, etc). The atmosphere, service, and prices of these establishments vary greatly; as do the the ages of patrons (when I'm in school it's 18-25, in South Florida it's 16-60). Despite this variety in experiences, many will notice the same things when they attend these drinking joints.

The first thing noticed when at a bar is the service, especially if the service is poor. There is nothing more annoying than standing at a bar, money in hand, and not getting served. I find that if Hell exists, this is going to be my own version. While, I'm all for being a gentleman, I'm not always down for the bartender making every girl in the joint some crazy concoction when all I want is a G&T or a beer (nice, simple drinks). Even worse, is being behind the person that can't decide what they want. Experienced bar-goers know exactly what they drink (even if their tastes vary) and can order in a split second. The menu at a bar is pretty much the same at every bar you attend, and it's been that way since bars were created. Occasionally you'll get new tricks thrown in there, but seriously, it's beer, whiskey, vodka, gin, wine; pick one....NOW!!! However, when the service is good, you hardly notice the ordering of the drinks as it becomes an enjoyable experience. If you are as I am, you enjoy these places where a rapport has been built with the bartenders and they serve you better and you tip accordingly.

The atmosphere of the bar is the only thing about the experience that is shared by men and women. I thought it was reserved for college sorority girls, but adult women do all the same silly tricks. First, girls attend the bar to spend time with their girls, have a few drinks, and DANCE. God, these chicks love to dance. There is even a known statement, "Fuck guys, I just want to dance" blatantly shows this attitude of not having any concern for the other sex. Despite this lack of care for guys, it will NEVER ever stop a girl from trying to get as many free drinks at the bar as possible (even if she has a boyfriend). Girls have the ability to go to the bar with basically no money and successfully drinking throughout the night (yes, there is jealousy).

Just because there are nights when girls just want to dance, they deep down want the same thing guys do, which I'll get to in a few. Girls also all have standard moves that they do at the bar. For some reason, no matter what the age, girls feel that they cannot leave each other's side for any reason for any split second. No matter, how little space there is to move they must form the "Friend-Chain" and hold hands as they walk throughout the bar. While this chain can reach up to 6 girls, it doesn't matter, everyone must immediately move out of the way or have the train run you off the tracks (drinks, feet, and manners be damned). While they easily could get through if they didn't hold hands and said "excuse me" that would require too many concessions, and this isn't a ballpark, concessions are closed.

Guys go to the bar for two things, and two things only: to get drunk and try and hook up. The only way the first one won't happen is if the second one does early on. The best nights ever for a guy are when both occur on the same night. To girls, hanging with their friends is an important part of the night; for guys, this is just a way to bridge the gap of time between starting the evening and their goals. Occasionally the friend can give an assist to the goal by being a good wingman, a service which must be reciprocated if the opportunity presents itself.

See, when at a bar, guys are constantly looking for who they can hook up with. When the night begins, there are standards (maybe not standards, but at least preferences). I think of it as similar as to when I got my first car. When I first started looking for a vehicle, I really wanted a Jeep Wrangler. If it wasn't a Jeep, it had to at least be a SUV. If I couldn't get a SUV, then I wanted the car to be a convertible. If not a convertible, at least it had to have a sunroof. When I first received my vehicle, it was a hard-top car with no sunroof, but I was satisfied because I got a vehicle. See, guys aim high, but as the drinks keep coming, the aim might get a little shaky and the guy will settle for what he can get. Guys implore the Binary System by the end of most nights. There is know rating 1-10, there are simply 1s and 0s, yeses and nos. No matter how poor the decision is, no guy is to prevent another from making that decision. Instead, the friends choose to make fun of the person at a later date.

While not ever spoken in the open, as guys do, girls really just want to hook up to. Well, at least most do. These normal girls are not what guys look out for at bars. There are a few types that must be looked out for:

First, the Mother Hen. She believes that everyone came in one car at one time and everyone must go home in one car at the same time. She screens every guy that talks to one of her friends and will quickly halt any chance a guy may have. She makes sure all her "chicks" stick together and no one does anything "too crazy".

Second, the Moral High Horse. She is very similar to the Mother Hen as she must screen every guy. She will tell her every judgment, not necessarily to the guy, but loud enough to show her disapproval. Her friend may want to have fun; however, she makes sure that it doesn't happen as someone might get the "wrong impression".

Lastly, the Ms. Me Too. This girl is all about partying and in most cases can be really fun to be around. However, if she isn't getting attention from a guy, then none of her friends are allowed to. She'll drop the "maybe next time" or the "well, I drove" to try and make her friend feel guilty for trying to leave without her.

Guys are a different creature. We rarely look out for each other in the bar, unless it's a physical altercation. Rather, we allow for each other to make horrible decisions; if for nothing but the story. We don't care what girl our friends are talking to, unless she has friends. There's no real round up of friends. Instead, guys will leave when they feel like and allow other friends to leave accordingly.

While these differences are there and are blatantly shown while in the bar, it is important that we come together to allow for what everyone wants anyway - the hookup. This is difficult because of the double-standard in our society. If a guy hooks up a lot, he the man; a girl does it and she's a sloot. We need to toss this stigma out the window and allow for girls to feel comfortable with what they're doing.

Because honestly, we all just want to "Get drunk and make some bad decisions".